Instead of asking your self, “Do I need therapy?”, first ask your self, “Would I like some help with my confusion?”, “Would I like support with feeling over whelmed?”, “Would I like to understand relationships better?”, and so on. Basically, “What would I like a little help with?” These sorts of questions help us clarify the first question of, “Do I need therapy?”
If you want therapy, then you need therapy. Do not wait for a crisis to feel you are deserving of a little help, especially couples. Many times couples start counseling after too much damage has been done. Another area to start early is parenting teens. The technique and relationship is very different from parenting toddlers.
Also, our culture still has huge shame about going to therapy, even here in California. However, I commonly hear people say at some point in their therapy, “I think everyone should do this”.
For those who have never done any psychotherapy, there is usually a part of ones’ self that feels anxious and another part that is curious about therapy and longs for some understanding of how life works. This is just how it is. Any new frontier will have anxiety and interest.
For others, the idea of therapy brings up feelings of failure, “I should be able to handle my problems on my own” or “only weak or crazy people have to go to therapy”. Or, “Why tell a stranger my problems when I have my friends or family to talk to?,” for the same reason your friends and family are not your car mechanic.
It might be interesting to take some of the psychological tests online; such as, Personality Disorder Test, Mental Disorder Test, or Mental Illness Test but it would be much more valuable to get a referral from someone you trust, then go see a therapist. Tell them what sucks in your life or where you feel stuck. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, everyone has confusion and emotional pain, everyone. And yes, some peoples’ pain is worse, but that does not mean your difficulty is invalid.
Many parents who’s children have seen a child psychologist at school will ask, “Do I need therapy if my child is having problems at school?” The answer is maybe. We all need a little guidance from time to time, especially with parenting. You may only need a few sessions to get back on track to avoid a lot of problems in the future.
Psychotherapy provides methods for relationships that make life easier. Relationship doesn’t have to be frustrating and argumentative.
“Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Psychotherapy can be an education that you didn’t know you needed and it can be taken to various depths given one’s interest in the inner life.
