All family relationships are tricky. Even when you find yourself in a healthy balanced relation, there are still some things or issues that can appear along the way. Unfortunately, most people avoid going to family counseling, and would rather prefer to deal with these problems on their own.
No matter how skilled you are at dealing with life issues, the help of a professional therapist can’t hurt at all. We live in a stressful way, and we cannot handle all that life throws at us. This is why it is a wise thing to seek for help in the form of family counseling services.
How to Choose the Best Family Counseling Therapist?
Finding the best family counseling center for your specific needs can be a long-term process. You will have to consider many factors. We have put together some elements to be taken into consideration before starting family therapy:
- Establish your budget. Find a family counseling therapist you can afford. Don’t rely on the fact that you have insurance because not many health insurance plans cover this kind of therapy. Even though many counselors are quite expensive, try to think that this is an important long-term investment. The entire family could benefit from these therapy sessions. However, if you really cannot afford it, don’t spend all your money on therapy. This could increase your family’s conflicts.
- Ask for recommendations. If you don’t know which therapist to choose, try to find more about the best ones from your relatives or your friends. The referral system or the word-to-mouth advertising works great in this situation. It is better to go to someone recommended by a trustworthy person that is also close to you. This way, you will go to family counseling without having to worry about how the session will take place.
- Search online for more details. Nowadays, you can find plenty of discussion forums where former or actual patients talk about different therapists. You can try to find a picture of your potential counselor. An image can say more than words. I, for example, feel if there is some chemistry with a person only by looking at her/his picture.
- Specialized therapist with a solid background. Always try to pick the right family counselor by searching those who are both licensed and experienced. You should find one who specializes in family, relationships and child counseling. Looking for credentials is an important step in choosing the right specialist to take care of your emotional problems.
- Pay attention to attitude. Try to choose a therapist that is committed to helping your family and who is trying his/her best to offer you the proper solutions for your issues. If a counselor is looking at his/her watch every 10 minutes, it’s a sign showing you that you should probably go to another psychologist.
- Communication skills. Is the therapist on the same pages as you? Do you clearly understand everything that he/she says? Even though they are experts in this field, they should have the capacity of using a natural and common language so that every patient understands what message they are trying to send. Communication is not only about words. It also covers aspects such as tone of voice, non-verbal language, talking speed, and more. If you are pleased with the way your family counselor talks, then stick to him/her. However, keep in mind that a good psychologist listens more and talks less.
What Will You Gain from Family Counseling?
There are many benefits when you take your family to therapy. It is a place where you can openly discuss anything that is bothering you. The main advantages of family counseling are the following:
- Better communication. Many times, conflicts arise because of communication lack or miscommunication. You say one thing, but your spouse or child understands something totally Does this sound familiar to you? Then you have communication issues with your family. Most of the time, going to family counseling will help you repair these problems. However, you need to be open-minded when it comes to going to therapy.
- Problem resolution. If you are at an impasse, and your family has lost its balance, going to family counseling will help you discover the roots of the issues as well as finding the proper way to fix all the problems. You will benefit from this your whole life. It is proven that families who went to therapy have become better at handling stressful moments.
- Improving behavior. If one single family member has an inappropriate behavior, it can ruin the entire home peace as well as your relationships. For example, parents always argue about their children, because of their disobedience or impulsive reactions. Fighting with your spouse about it won’t change a thing. On the contrary, it will only make it worse. This is where family counseling delivers its input and teaches you how to become a happy family again.
- Self-esteem and confidence. To cope with life’s problems, we all need a strong level of self-confidence. If we lack this trait, we will become vulnerable in the face of daily challenges. Parents should be aware of what kind of example they children perceive. If both parents are emotionally vulnerable, there are good chances their kids will grow to be flawed adults. A good therapist can make the entire family regain this ability, living more positive lives.
How to Prepare for Family Therapy?
Before actually going to family counseling, you should make sure that the entire family agrees to go with you. Secondly, you should get together and think about what kind of problems are you all facing. This way it will be easier to be opened and talk about your issues when the therapist asks you about the reasons to why you chose to go there.
When it comes to childrens therapy, you have to be more careful with the way the specialist handles the situation. Psychologists that specialize in treating children must be patient and carry. Always make sure that your kids feel totally comfortable during the sessions.
Before therapy, think what kind of questions do you want to address to the counselor. Feel free to ask anything that upsets you or anything you want clarifications for. When you get to know more things about the entire process, you will become more relaxed and willing to collaborate.
The worst thing to do is to lie or hide things. If you want the family counseling to work 100 percent, then you should be completely honest about the things you are going through. It is true that, at first, it will be hard for you to focus and prioritize your thoughts. You just need to keep your calm and follow the therapist’s guidance. Get into the right mindset. Don’t expect the psychologist to repair your broken relationships.
All good counselors are there to help you and guide you. But you have to discover on your own the right way to overpass your impasse. You will probably have to reevaluate your role in all the family’s problems. A crucial factor to surpass all these issues is to be truly willing to commit to changes.
What to Expect from Your First Family Counseling Session?
Most of the relationship counseling procedures are successful and offer a good family conflict resolution. Every therapist has his/her approach and style. Therefore, don’t go there with prejudices. Also, do not try to guess how long will the therapy last. Every patient is different and unique. Therefore, depending on how fast you solve your problems, family counseling can last from a couple of weeks to several months.
Normally, the first visit is for establishing connections. Your therapist will ask several questions to get to know your family better. You may even be asked about your family’s health history. It is a time when you set goals. Together with the counselor, you will state what you want to achieve from the therapy. Try to pay attention to how the therapist makes you feel.
If your entire family feels comfortable and if you feel there is a positive connection with the psychologist, then you should continue seeing him/her. Don’t fret if you are anxious or nervous. It is totally normal, especially for the first appointment.
Some counselors even offer a free first appointment. This way, you will get to know each other and decide if you want to continue the therapy. The first time you go with your family to see a psychologist, you will participate in an opened discussion. Be prepared for the possibility of individual interviews. The counselor might find appropriate to see each family member at a time, before actually starting the therapy session.
During the first family counseling visit, the therapist might explain his/her way of doing things, and give you details about how he/she would structure the following sessions. Don’t expect miracles. Your problems will not just go away because you went to family counseling a couple of times. All the process needs time and patience as well as commitment.
What We Have Learned
Going to family counseling can be troubling. However, don’t be too harsh on yourself. Every family has its problems and communication issues. The important thing is to be willing to solve them. The wisest decision is to see a specialist. He/she will know exactly how to guide you through the rough times.
Be prepared for the questions that the counselor will ask, and be aware of how many advantages the family therapy has. Although the therapist is helping you surpass your problems, don’t expect him/her to do the work for you. Also, if you want to benefit from what therapy has thought you, you will need to apply all of those techniques at home, along with all the other family members.
