Chances are that you have heard the word “sociopath” used in conversation to describe a person who seems to have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and lacks any empathy for others. If so, you probably have working knowledge of what a sociopath is. But how do you know if you are dealing with someone who is truly sociopathic? Recognizing the behavioral patterns is the best way to start to learn how to deal with a sociopath, but you will need to carefully weigh your options as to how you deal with them and ensure that you are also taking care of yourself.
What Is Sociopathy?
Otherwise known as Antisocial Personality Disorder (per the DSM-5), sociopathy defined as impairments to an individual’s personality that cause them to seem self-centered and lacking empathy for others.
You can learn how to deal with a sociopath by first knowing the key personality traits to look for. Sociopaths tend to come off as being ego-centric and do things on an extremely self-serving basis. They also tend to show little to no remorse after they have caused someone physical, mental, or emotional harm. They might also have difficulties with forming and maintaining intimate relationships, employ deceptive tactics for getting what they want from a relationship, or try to exert control over another person.
Sociopaths also tend to show a lack of inhibition. They might come off as being frivolous, disregarding of their commitments, rash in their actions, quick to judge others, and rather reckless when it comes to engaging in behavior that could be regarded as harmful to themselves and/or to others. This includes engaging in risky sexual acts. Sociopaths might find themselves feeling bored quite easily and will disregard or even denigrate others for asserting the limitations of what they’re willing to engage in.
These behaviors and attitudes tend to be relatively concrete over time. They might initially seem to be charming and intelligent, but, over time, the more harmful aspects of their personality tend to emerge. These individuals often thrive on power and will climb the socioeconomic ladder as high as possible, and they might not appear to care about who they step on along the way.
What Causes Someone To Be a Sociopath?
The root cause of sociopathy is not clear, and it is likely that there is no singular cause. Since our personalities tend to form and stabilize throughout our childhoods, there is a reason to believe that the experiences sociopaths endure during their most formative years solidify the traits they display as adults.
Additionally, there is some speculation that genetics and/or brain development might play roles in the occurrence of sociopathy. Learning how to deal with a sociopath involves cultivating your understanding of what might have caused them to think and act the way that they do.
Why Are Sociopaths So Charming At First?
One of the things most people who enter into relationships of any kind with sociopaths tend to realize in hindsight is that sociopaths can be incredibly charming, lively, and seemingly secure people at first. They might appear to be intelligent and confident. When you first met this person, you likely found yourself taking joy in being around them. They do not seem delusional or irrational.
Over time, however, you might have found that this person failed to keep their promises to you, and you likely became immersed in a tangled web of deceit. What you should know is that most sociopaths do not view their lies as being lies. They tend to perpetuate and build upon lies. Also, there is actually evidence that suggests that many sociopaths do know right from wrong and do not care about choosing to do harmful, wrong things to others.
Sociopaths in Relationships
So, how do you know when you should stick it out with the sociopathic person in your life? Sorting this out is imperative for finding the most constructive way for how to deal with a sociopath. For the most part, sociopaths tend to be the ones to leave. This happens since most of them feel no empathy for the person they are leaving.
Unfortunately, sociopaths are not prone to seek therapeutic help. In their minds, their ways of functioning are normal and beneficial to them. They are likely to cycle through relationships, one after the other, and will probably never offer you a sincere apology for how they have treated you.
When learning how to deal with a sociopath, you will likely be doing a lot of processing after they have left. Their stinging words will likely reverberate inside of your mind as you sort out your emotions. The most important thing that you should keep in mind is that, while this person is not essentially their personality disorder, it does explain why they so callously mistreated you and why they will continue that cycle of behavior with others.
Practicing Self-Care
That being said, what is the most difficult yet vital aspect of learning how to deal with a sociopath? It all comes down to loving yourself and practicing self-care. Probably, the sociopath you have dealt with likely said and/or did some very harmful things to you. As such, it is crucial that you do not take these words and actions to heart.
It is hard to accept the realization that you were being used as this person’s object. Most of us cannot comprehend that degree of opportunism. Keep in mind that there is likely nothing you could have said or done to make this person love and respect you for the human being that you are. Practicing mindfulness and engaging in calming activities are extremely helpful. Should the need arise, seeing a counselor can help you sort through the fallout from a relationship with a sociopath.
There are no hard-and-fast answers as to why sociopathy exists. However, it is important to keep in mind one thing. Remember that it is not your job to “fix” the sociopath you’re dealing with. Dealing with a sociopath is tough, indeed. However, it can become easier as you work through your emotions and keep practicing healthy self-love and self-care.
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