We as humans are not immune to heartbreak, even though most of the times we wish we were. The truth is you can’t escape heartbreak, the same way you can’t escape feeling physically ill from time to time. That being said, we should also mention that we have become accustomed to claiming we suffer from a broken heart more often than is the case. It is important not to confuse sadness with a broken heart, since they are quite different. Today, we are going to talk about why we get our heart broken and more importantly, how to heal a broken heart.
Why Do We Get a Broken Heart and the Broken Heart Syndrome?
Have you ever stopped and wondered what exactly is a broken heart? Moreover, what causes people to get one? Well, what we call a broken heart is actually a metaphor for really intense pain and sadness. People call it that way because it oftentimes feels exactly that way. Meaning that you can also get physical symptoms that attest to the pain you are feeling. Most often than not, heartbreak is related to the loss of a lover or the desire to be with someone that remains unfulfilled. However, you can also get a broken heart because of other reasons, such as the death of someone close to you.
Certain people who suffer from a heartbreak can feel so much emotional pain that they get the so-called broken heart syndrome, otherwise known as stress cardiomyopathy. Emotional stress can lead to a weakening of the muscle in your heart. Unfortunately, people who deal with this issue risk ventricular rupture, lethal ventricular arrhythmias, or even heart failure.
How to Heal a Broken Heart
Accept the Issue
As cliché as it may sound, the only way to start the healing process is to accept that it’s going to be painful. If you were to be realistic, you would understand that anyone who ever completely gives himself or herself to a relationship also runs the risk of getting a broken heart. We may try to escape this pain with whatever we’ve got, but the truth is that things that you don’t address will eventually come back to haunt you.
The best way out is always through. – Robert Frost
Don’t think there’s something wrong with feeling extreme sadness, because there isn’t. It is true that you had something beautiful in your life, the same way it is also true that you will have to adjust to the idea that you no longer have it.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
After you’ve made peace with the idea, don’t be afraid to take in all the pain, guilt, or whatever else emotion you might be feeling at that time. We are not going to say it’s an easy task. In those moments, it may feel like all you want to do is hold on for dear life. Allowing one more negative emotion to take over might feel like more than you can take, but it is important not to deny or hide from our feelings.
People have the ability to cry for a reason. Crying is healthy and it will help you release a lot of those negative emotions that you’re holding on to. It also releases endorphins in your body, so don’t be afraid to shed as many tears as you need. Sometimes people think that by not crying they will be able to avoid their pain. That is not true, and if you refuse to cry you are actually refusing pain-release.
Break the Cycle
As important as it is to allow yourself time to grieve, you should approach this step with caution. That is, don’t get so lost in the pain that you won’t be able to find a way to heal. If you go day after day relieving the same emotions, you might make a habit out of them. Imagine if you will the way you turn on the lights whenever you walk into your bedroom.
It is the same thing with negative emotions and pain, if we experience them for too long. Your brain will form certain patterns that you might struggle to break. That is why it is important not to let ourselves experience grief for too long.
Most likely you have things that remind you of the person you lost, or there are places where you two used to go to whose mere sight feels like torture now. The safest way to break the cycle of heartbreak is to avoid these triggers as much as possible. If you hear that song that reminds you of the past, turn it off immediately. Or walk through places that you didn’t use to in the past. Forming new associations and routines will teach you how to heal a broken heart sooner or later.
Take Some Time for Yourself
A lot of people think that the answer to the question of how to heal a broken heart is to find someone new to replace the person you lost. Let us tell you that this is one of the biggest mistakes you could make. It is unfair to the other person, and it is unfair to you. Your heart cannot heal by finding a substitute, because the truth is that there’s no substitute to that old love. It was unique, and the moment you are ready, you will find something new that will surprise you in many ways.
Now that the heartbreak is so recent, the best thing you could do is focus on yourself. Try out new things, things that you maybe always wanted to do but never dared. Get out of your comfort zone and meet new people. Indulge yourself in things that make you happy and that take your mind off your current situation. Try listening to music and discover new bands, or write your thoughts and feelings into a journal. You can also try exercising, since this releases endorphins which make us feel better.
Talk to Someone Close to You
A friend or a loved one can help you understand how to heal a broken heart. It is important in moments of extreme sadness and emotional pain to know that we have someone who is there for us. There’s a reason why talking therapy helps so much. Telling someone about your inner struggles will not only help you heal, but also get some perspective. Oftentimes, we are too close to a situation to think objectively, and a friend can help us with that.
Similarly, going out with people who are close to us can also help. That is because it shows you that you are still yourself even without that other person in your life. Moreover, you can still have a good time even in the midst of a heartbreak.
Summing Everything Up
Heartbreak is a normal human reaction to pain and grief that we should not regard as an insurmountable obstacle. Whatever has caused your heart to break is not what defines you, nor should it be something that stops you from living your life. Oftentimes, the process of how to heal a broken heart seems long and arduous, but it is important to trust that we can make it through. No one stays in the same place for too long, and that includes you.
