When you think of hoarding, you might recall a television show called Hoarding: Buried Alive. If you’re one of those who haven’t seen this show, you should try to see it. Each episode details what it is like to be a hoarder and how interventions are staged. There is so much more work to de-cluttering a home than just cleaning up the physical items. As is the case for many hoarders, overcoming their compulsive behaviors involves making serious commitments to de-cluttering their minds.
For many hoarders, the physical, mental, and emotional process of cleaning up is too much to endure on their own. That is why it is important that hoarders have a strong support system behind them. While making the changes can be difficult, knowing how to help a hoarder can ease the process for everyone involved.
What Does Hoarding Look Like?
So, how are you supposed to know whether your loved one is an actual hoarder? What if they simply have too much clutter? The biggest component of hoarding is that it is a compulsive behavior. In other words, a person hoards because, for some reason, they feel like they have to do it. And when it comes to throwing things away, the person tends to feel anxious. They may suspect that someone might be trying to throw their things away. In this case, they might seem paranoid, agitated, or even hostile.
Some hoarders are also compulsive shoppers, meaning that they regularly purchase items that they might not truly need but feel a strong desire to possess. The items they buy tend to pile up and, more often than not, go unused.
Other hoarders might have a preference for keeping old items around that don’t hold much use anymore. Some of these items might not even have much sentimental value. In this person’s home, you might see piles of old junk mail, cardboard boxes full of old items or household supplies. Add to that aging photographs that are not placed in albums or frames or kitchen utensils as well.
There are also animal hoarders. Animal hoarding is slightly different in that the compulsive behavior tends to be more exclusive and involves an individual wanting to care for these creatures but inadvertently neglecting their care. In extreme cases, some of the animals end up sick or deceased while in the person’s care. Finding ways for how to help a hoarder with animal hoarding issues can be extremely challenging and emotional.
What Causes Someone to Hoard?
Learning how to help a hoarder means getting to the root cause of the behavior. Hoarding can happen for a number of reasons, and these reasons can be somewhat unique to a person’s environment and upbringing. However, there is no concrete biological explanation as to why hoarding occurs in some people but not in others. In some cases, people who hoard have lost loved ones or have felt a strong sense of abandonment from those they love. The person who hoards might feel overwhelmed by even the loss of minor, seemingly insignificant physical possessions.
Common Comorbidities
Although it can occur on its own, hoarding is oftentimes a symptom of another disorder. Those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), depression, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can sometimes also demonstrate signs of hoarding as part of their conditions.
The Disruptive Nature of Hoarding
It is important to realize when you’re learning how to help a hoarder that their life has been disrupted. Symptoms of hoarding tend to progress over time. Typically, signs begin to manifest during adolescence. Teenagers can show signs of emotionally struggling to throw things away. Moreover, they can engage in other linked behaviors, such as compulsive shopping. This tends to go beyond what you might expect from the average “messy” teenager. There is often an accompanying emotional component brought on by a fear or anxiety about loss.
The longer this continues, the stronger a grip hoarding can take on someone’s life. Hoarding can result in financial difficulties, loss of relationships, legal troubles, and the development and persistence of health issues due to living in an unhealthy environment. Parents who hoard run the risk of having their underage children removed from their care, and hoarding can lead to break-ups in marriages and other romantic relationships.
The more loss the person who hoards endures, the more the might try to hold fast to their material possessions and accumulate more. Hoarding can become a vicious cycle if the person who hoards does not receive or continues to reject offers of help and support.
Helping Hoarders Learn to Help Themselves
As a loved one of someone who hoards, one of the most crucial things you can do is to learn how to help a hoarder learn how to help themselves. If you resort to just taking their possessions and dumping them, this could exacerbate the issue. Instead, first focus your energy on learning about hoarding as a condition and what might be causing your loved one to engage in it.
By learning about your loved one’s hoarding, you can better learn how to not enable their behavior. This means having to learn how to say “no” when your loved one asks you to buy them certain things or store their items at your house. You should also avoid doing all of their cleaning for them. Instead, encourage them to make their own good decisions and recognize any victory, no matter how big or small it might seem to you.
Seeking Professional Therapy and Intervention
Of course, you cannot do all the work on your own, and neither can your loved one. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has proven to be a successful mode of treatment for those coping with hoarding issues. This type of therapy can help individuals become more mindful and swap the negative self-thoughts for more positive and realistic ones.
For more serious cases of hoarding, an intervention might be necessary, especially if the person is experiencing serious health or legal issues due to their hoarding. Certified interventionists are trained to deal with all aspects of hoarding, not just helping to clean up the clutter.
Hoarding is a serious condition which can quickly spiral out-of-control, causing numerous issues for the hoarder and their loved ones. If your loved one is exhibiting hoarding behavior, remind them that there is no shame in reaching out for help and that, while you don’t love their mess, you still love them. The first step in learning how to help a hoarder is to simply be there for them.
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