Relationship is Learning
When I look at online relationship counseling, I see a lot of good information. Many of the sites have articles relating to various relationship problems. Online relationship counseling sites help people think about relationships in a broader way. Relationship is learning. It is like anything else, in the beginning you don’t even know what questions to ask. Therefore, online relationship counseling gives questions to ask yourself and your partner and the skill and structure to talk about them. Then if all of that doesn’t take you as far as you need to go, you could find a therapist in your local area that you can trust.
Listen, but don’t take it personally
Developing the skill of listening to your partner and not taking it personally is the most difficult and the most important skill to learn. If you can learn even a little of this skill you will save a lot of time and money. Because then if you do go into therapy you will be far ahead of the process. Usually, one person is more skillful than the other in the beginning. Listening and not taking it personally starts by accepting a basic premise: each person has grown up with their own unique family and cultural environment. This environment is colored with a range of emotional pain, love, and all the various circumstances of life. You could even say everyone is doing the best they can given what they know. Even if it doesn’t look like the best. It is how they learned to cope with difficulty.
What are the limits to online relationship counseling?
The downside of online relationship counseling is with complex situations which require personal attention. Sometimes relationships get so emotionally charged or so emotionally dead that it takes more than you can do alone without a therapist’s help. Relationship is not just rules of behavior, otherwise, we could just put a little chart on the refrigerator door and each person could check off their chores and responsibilities, including sex. Relationship therapy is extremely subtle if the couple is looking for in-depth healing. Also, if there has been trauma with either member, an affair, a death of a close family member, online relationship counseling may only give you a little direction but not enough containment to go through a tough time.
Overall, you can learn some very helpful ideas online. Email, Skype, and phone counseling can give you some things to practice in your relationship. It is a way to get your feet wet, but it takes a real person that you both trust to go farther. Ask people in your life that you respect for a referral to a local therapist. Get several referrals and visit each of them until you find the right chemistry.
