You might tell your friend that they look good in an outfit that you don’t particularly like, or say that you’ve been busy all afternoon when actually you’ve been binge-watching the latest Netflix series. These are still deceptions and something that we’ve all been guilty of doing at least once in life, but what about those people who seem to have a real problem with telling the truth?
A pathological liar is a medical term for someone who consistently and frequently lies about things, often times with no benefit to be had at all. These people may seem mysterious or always have plans or stories that they tell which turn out to be false, and if it sounds like someone you know then it’s possible they are a pathological liar.
So, how can you tell if that person you know is a pathological liar or if they just seem suspicious? There are usually some giveaways in their personality traits and other characteristics they exhibit. This person may require further help or they could be plotting something destructive in your life, so it’s best to be aware of everything they’re capable of.
What Is Pathological Lying?
Pathological lying is something that has plagued health experts for years, and even though we know what it entails there’s no real consensus on what it is. A pathological liar is someone who repeatedly tells lies and has a history of doing so.
Many of the lies they tell will actually serve no benefit to them, but other times they can be doing it for sinister reasons. These people will be able to lie effectively to others and not feel any remorse for doing so. When they are called out on the lie they either explode in anger or simply deny it, but there is never guilt associated with it.
What makes this condition so difficult is that even health professionals may have a hard time knowing what’s true and what isn’t. Pathological liars may also fall into other categories like psychopaths, narcissists, and other people suffering from personality disorders, so it’s not often a stand-alone characteristic.
Figuring out why these people tell lies has been something that has never been fully established, as they themselves may feel they are acting out of impulse and nothing else. Therefore, treating these people will require a mixture of science, background knowledge, and intuition about whether or not they are telling the truth.
Some Facts About Pathological Lying
There has been extensive research done on the subject of pathological lying, what causes it, and why some people do it. These are just some of the interesting facts surrounding the condition to give you a little more insight on what it really means.
- Studies have found that many pathological liars also have a negative personality traits (NPD). It’s believed that at some point in their lives, 7.7% of men and 4.8% of women have met the criteria for this condition.
- There are some people with negative personality traits (OCD) who may exhibit pathological lying behaviors as a symptom of their condition. It may be an impulse that they can’t control and they have learned to do it over time to cover up other things.
- When looking at the types of lies that people tell, the pathological liar is more likely to lie about medical issues than anything else. They like gaining the sympathy of others and may want the attention associated with being unwell so will lie to get it.
- Pathological liars don’t always know that they’re being dishonest, as there is a small portion of them that are also ‘functionally delusional’. This means that they are believing the lies they are telling so become confused when called out on them.
- Working with children who lie is easier as you’re able to direct them in the right place, whereas treating adults who are pathological liars is near impossible to do.
- Also, people suffering from NPD may not even be aware of it nor want to seek treatment for it. They instead will have their anxiety or depression treated instead.
The Personality Traits A Pathological Liar May Exhibit
The most obvious way to spot a pathological liar is by their repeated attempts to lie or cover up situations, but sometimes they may not be so obvious. A lot of negative personality traits are associated with this condition, so look out for these other signs in their characteristics.
- Self-centered behavior or narcissism where everything they say or do revolves around them and their own needs and wants.
- Abusive tendencies that may be shown in physical or emotional abuse or the threat of doing so.
- Selfishness where they seem to only operate in order to serve themselves with no regard for others.
- A need to control or manipulate is common in these people, usually in the form of telling lies.
- Deceptiveness or being purposely sneaky about the way they speak or act as to throw people off from what’s really happening.
- Impulsivity or reckless behavior such as drinking, driving fast, or spending a lot of money without any purpose.
- Aggression and anger in general situations or towards people, both strangers and those they are close to.
- Uncomfortable or awkward in social situations, usually displaying obvious signs of feeling out of place
- Low self-esteem or a lack of confidence, with many of their lies relating to things they’ve done or achieved.
- Jealousy or possessive behavior where they don’t want anyone else getting attention or having things that they don’t.
Sometimes, these pathological liars know exactly what they are doing and they may be purposely trying to manipulate situations. Other times, they don’t are aware of it and are unable to stop, as it is an automatic impulse. Those who are using it to manipulate others will usually qualify for another type of personality disorder, such as being a sociopath, and they may get enjoyment from being dishonest to others.
Dealing With Pathological Liars – What to Keep In Mind
For mental health professionals and people with a pathological liar in their life somewhere, it can be challenging to know exactly how to deal with them. These are some things that you must remember when communicating with a pathological liar to ensure that you don’t get caught up with their untruths.
They lack empathy
For most people, if we tell a lie, then we feel remorse or guilt for having done so. A pathological liar does not feel this though, as they don’t believe they have done anything worth feeling sorry for.
They can study people
Many therapists understand the challenges of working with pathological liars or other disorders like sociopaths or psychopaths as they are aware that they learn how to study and manipulate people. They can often learn people’s weaknesses and will play on this with their deceit.
They show no emotion when confronted
When a normal person tells a lie and is confronted on it, they might begin to feel uneasy or nervous and so will quickly change the topic. A pathological liar does not experience this, and they won’t show any emotion if they are confronted about telling lies.
They won’t always be obvious
We all know the telltale signs to look for if we think someone is lying to us: rubbing their face, looking away, or moving around uncomfortably in their seat. Pathological liars will usually exhibit no such signs and therefore it can be hard to see when they’re telling the truth or not.
They are manipulative
Although it can be said that we are all capable of manipulating situations, the pathological liar does so frequently. They might try to manipulate things in their favor or make a grand gesture to distract people from finding out the truth.
The Need for Further Insight
Although we are aware of the very serious condition of pathological lying, there is still so much more to be learned in this area. Even many of these liars don’t know why they’re doing it themselves, but some will have a very clear intent of trying to manipulate or harm others.
If you know somebody who you suspect to be a pathological liar, you may want to be cautious about what you share with them and your interactions. There may be the need for further psychological intervention, but keeping in mind they will likely lie to those around them, including people in the medical field.
